Taking out the trash

Update on yesterday's post:
I was cruising my usual news sources today looking for cannon fodder, when, to my surprise, I discovered that I had, yet again, made another mistake. As you might recall, all the way back in the good old yesterday I made some crack about California stoners voting for Schwarzenegger predicated on their enjoyment of Total Recall. Turns out, he's not running for office. Not a monumental cock up, I know, but one that is of a variety which I have called to account in the past: An error of information gathering. Instead of doing my homework, I just assumed that Arnie would be running again because, well, I personally don't think he can pull off the aging-action-star-goes-dramatic angle. Actually, I don't think there are any aging action stars that can pull off that career shift. Stallone comes closest but ever since he had his plastic surgeon give him permanent kissy-face, it's getting harder to take him at all seriously.

mmmmmmm-wah!

Actually, looking at that picture, I guess he could play somebody's stoner uncle or a pawn shop owner with a heart of gold. I will cast him in a dual role in my upcoming screenplay about the Proposition 19 vote called, Prop 19: Fire From on High. It's the story of a mild-mannered, Jeff Bridges-esque stoner uncle from who teams up with a gun-toting, Libertarian pawn-shop owner from Modesto to kick ass for civil liberties. Stallone will play opposite himself through the magic of CGI, with Skeet Ulrich as "The Dweeb" and Martha Stewart as "Ma Bell". I'm thinking we get Brett Ratner to bring the magic in the director chair so long as I can convince the Weinsteins to produce. And hells yeah it'll be in 3D!

Speaking of the Jew-run media and journalistic foul-ups, CNN anchor Rick Sanchez, who famously called Obama "the cotton-pickin President", has decided to put his foot into his mouth, all the way up to the knee. On some dude's Sirius radio show, he went on a pissy tirade against Jon Stewart and the ever-present "elite, Northeast establishment liberals". First he started up with calling Stewart a bigot(!) before moving on to the real steak at potatoes of the issue:

"I’m telling you that everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart, and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart, and to imply that somehow they, the people in this country who are Jewish, are an oppressed minority? Yeah." -Rick "Dirty" Sanchez

And another unfortunate soul was added to the unemployment bonfire. In the man's defense, he said all this while on Sirius radio, so he probably just assumed no on was listening.

In other loose-lipped news, NY gubernatorial hopeful, Carl Paladino did a semi-furious backpeddling of some comments he made during his spat with NY Post's Fred Dicker earlier this week. During the altercation, Paladino can be heard at one point threatening to "take (Dicker) out". Turns out, he was not, despite all indicators to the contrary, threatening to put a hit out on the Dicker's bald head. He was just, you know, referring to his campaign slogan, which has something to do with "taking out the trash". He was just making an iconic soundbite, y'see, much like someone would make a small turd in their unmentionables in times of extreme duress.
So let's see, we're going to believe that a second generation Italian-American from Buffalo, NY who cut his teeth in the real estate business, runs a law firm, has close ties to a lot of people in the construction business and has a goomah on the side was NOT threatening to have someone killed when he bellowed the phrase "take you out"? Let me just punctuate this with a couple of pictures. Here's Paladino:

Fugeddaboutit?

OK? Now here's Dennis Hopper playing a mob boss:

Yeah, fugeddaboutit.

OK then. Well at least he doesn't resemble Frank from Blue Velvet.

Hopper is on the left; Paladino on the right.

I think I'd be a little less critical if the argument looked more like this. EEEEEEEEE! So CUTE!

OK, that's it for this week. Sorry for the short post, but hey! At least I got it posted before 5pm EST so, that's something, I guess. I'll hit you back with some Hipsterpedia come Monday.