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| "Oh, what? You feelin' froggy? Well, then JUMP motherfucker!" |
That evil fucker really did me in this last year. A "job" that barely made any money. A swirling milieu of dead-end relationships. A certain smartphone that is only available through AT&T (well, Verizon is picking them up sometime soon, but still...). Too many distractions and stressors for a humble, unpaid blogger such as myself to overcome. Yes, 2010 has truly been a red-letter year for my increasingly forced First World Problems. And yet, here I am, a mere two weeks and change into 2011 and already the endless, Bataan Death March-like slog that was 2010 seems to be fading from my memory, like a half remembered, mildly disturbing nightmare that prominently featured center-left Senators and my inability to grow facial hair.
Not that I have those. It's just...
SPEAKING of center-left Senators, Sen. Joe Lieberman is getting the fuck out of dodge. On the one hand, the imminent (OK, two years from now, but no takebacks) departure of one the political arena's most cripplingly divisive and infuriatingly bland figures gives me a warm feeling just somewhere under my pancreas. On the other hand, he is depriving me the sweet joy of watching him get publicly crushed in the next election cycle. Even as I watched a clip of his retirement speech (preceded by an appropriately bland ad for a credit union), I was struck by the disquieting sensation that the bastard knew exactly what he was doing to me.
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| "I can smell your sorrow." |
Sure, nothing will ever bring me back to the mountaintop of pure glee that was the excruciatingly slow collapse of the Paladino campaign (Carl! Hey, CARL! Missin' you, buddy.) and anything that is scheduled even remotely close to Nov. 2012 will no doubt be dwarfed by the long-awaited appearance of the Bedazzled Alaskan Clusterfuck once again wandering out of her natural habitat to root through the dumpsters behind Fox News Channel. All the same, a quiet loss for political bloggers who hate people they have never met.
Still and all, my outlook for the year is quite rosy. Sometime during the Reeps recent House cleaning, the Dems seem to have found their long lost spine tucked away in a box of Tom Delay's old sex toys. Early reports indicate that, while the spine is somewhat brittle from years of neglect and "smells like a skeleton's vagina", Democrats immediately strapped it on and got some actual goddamn work done before losing their fleeting majority vote. Several historic, progressive bills were pushed through during the last days of the 111th Congress, such as the repeal of DADT, the Health and Compensation Act for 9/11 first responders and a long overdue overhaul of the FDA. Very nicely done. So, how are we holding up under the new 112th Congress, lead in part by Speaker of the House John "There's a Tear in My Beer" Boehner?
Ah. Seems today the House voted to repeal the Universal Health Care Bill. BUT! All is not as bad as it seems, for even in defeat, the Democrats were resplendent in their new chrome-plated spine that fairly blazed with their unity and determination with a feisty New Yorker leading the charge (as it should be, as it should be).
While the unfortunate title "Weiner Rants on House Floor" brings strange connotations to mind, you gotta give it to the guy. He let fly like only a dude from South Brooklyn can. First he calls the Republicans liars and proposes making a drinking game out of their shit-talking. He then carefully includes any health care opponent who happened to not be lying that day while throwing a special jab at the newbies of the House who are mostly Tea-Baggers with heads full of pendantic Beckisms. And for the big finish? A football analogy! You know that no matter how hopped up he is at the conservatives at that moment, somewhere in the back of his head he's thinking,
"Aight, where am I meeting the boys up for the Jets game on Sunday? We are going to kick the Steelers' ASSES! J! E! T! S! JETS JETS JETS! Anyways, fuck these assholes; this bill is gonna die in the Senate."
Somebody start grooming this guy to run for President. But not too much.
So there we go. The political climate isn't as dire as it seems, my personal issues seem to have been sorted for the time being, NYC is as great a place as it ever was, the Jets are most assuredly winning the Super Bowl and I'm back to blogging. Hey, Jesus! Tell you what, give me a three month head start and we'll go head-to-head again in the spring. And stop with all the fucking snow, would ya?
-NMFP
